I’m mostly reblogging this because WOW I can’t believe someone just straight-up posted Frozen on YouTube like it ain’t no thing. Damn.
when you’re tired and people force you to do something for them
if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
i just microwaved a pizza and realized my mother left money for me to order one so i threw away the one i made im a terrible person i cant live with myself
i trusted you
oh my god
i’m the one he ordered, he loves me more than you
my friend was falling off my bed and she was like “help me back up” and i looked at her dead in the eye and whispered “long live the king” and pushed her off the bed.
One time I was playing The Sims. My kid had a soccer game, and while the teams were huddled up, I changed to buy mode and put washing machines around the opposing team, enclosing them within their detergent scented prison. Thanks to my ingenious strategy, my child’s team was able to take the ball from the opposite goalie and score repeatedly. By the time the clock ran out, we were up 46-0, and the opposing team was sobbing in puddles of their own piss. I am the best soccer mom.